The Pourne Identity

Ushy Mohan Das
DOCTOR, Professor, Writer, VOA, Stand Up Comedienne, Kaizen, Tsun-zu, Oshoite, Tongue-fu Master- Motivational Speaker, Blogger--LIFEIST in short!;-))

Saw a random order passed later by Justice Cockburn! – The name says it all!

Goodness! The ironies are screaming! I had always heard that history repeats itself, because we are not listening the first time! Currently we are dealing with a fast moving consumer product, Pornography, which is so deadly to the Indian consumer. We have always had alcohol in states where prohibition exists, pirated movies in the open market and now porn almost everywhere.

Mild, moderate and severe consumption? How does one classify something in porno as being excess? Mildly moral and severely immoral society or people? What’s the fun in moderation? One drink is maybe to enjoy but one drink too many drunk?

Are we shunning pleasure? Are we ending up a voyeuristic nation? Can we actually stop this menace of watching and enjoying the pleasure that many derive out of porn? Who are we to stop people from doing what they enjoy? If not we then who takes charge of the controls?

Good people don’t watch porn? Or they watch it only at home? So do you become bad if you watch it anywhere other than at home? Isn’t it about individuality and personal preferences? The same politician can watch dirty picture on a large screen and award the director for a wonderful venture but a video clip? Or is that considered too dirty only for politicians?

I can bet that a majority of politicians and babus and bhabhis included, watch porn. Some stupid ones get caught when watching it in the legislature. We end up have to suffer this moral hypocrisy!

Read somewhere that “Government Work is God’s Work”
In that case, this my friends is The Second Coming!

Let me list out all the events I can possibly remember as a list of politicians who star in “Scrotal Recall”

  • P T Chacko – 1964 was found in a car accident with a lady…lost his position…wonder which one! Political or sexual?
  • In early 80’s Ramrao Adik, the then Deputy CM of Maharashtra was all over papers…downing peg after peg on an AI flight, stumbling across aisles and heckling co passengers and playing touchy touchy with females in the cabin crew. He was busy chasing miniskirts around the lawns. He embarrassed many women with his forwardness! He was referred to as the “Hanover Hangover” Mr Adik then took to curves? From a straight political career!
  • Kerala’s former forest minister Neela Lohitadas had to resign in 2000 following a complaint of attempted sexual abuse by a senior IAS officer.
  • N D Tiwari, former Andhra Governor, carrying on with his sexual orgy in his official residence at the Raj Bhavan
  • The late J H Patel, former CM of Karnataka, admitted his weakness for wine and women. Uncles- sheer case of Die Hard On!
  • P J Kurien, Suryanelli scandal in Idukki in 1996 involving a 16 yr old raped by 42 men continuously for 40 days at diff places. The name was cleared after investigations. Sounds like the squeal Penetrator 2.! Gosh.
  • The famous ice cream parlor case of the industrialist MLA Kunhalikutty rocked kerala, in 2011 case was reopened by Kutty was cleared of all charges. It was probed case anew by SIT.
  • The Kilroor scandal in 2003, wherein a woman assured to be given roles in a TV serial, bore a child and died accusing some high profile politicians but CBI dismissed allegations.
  • Micky Pacheco arrested in 2010.The NCP man was in a live in relationship…he openly bought his woman instead of wife even for swearing in ceremony. Another affair and the woman tried ending her life. Nadia Torrado in may 2010 sucked Pacheco in. He was put through the wringer by investigating agency.
  • Bhanwari Devi case hit headlines. Mahipal Maderna is facing trial for her murder. MLA Malkhan Singh is supposed to have fathered Bhanwari’s children. Once she started blackmailing they plotted to eliminate her.
  • Ram Lal Jat speeded up Paras Devi post mortem, the 34 yr old showed signs of poisoning.MP Ramswaroop Koli sent 3 children and a woman to the US. The human trafficking earned him15 lakhs in return!

What has changed and what hasn’t? Talking Karnataka now–The land of hot and happening “Pornocchios”

  • Renukacharya and Jayalakshmi scandal photographs of him posing amorously released in 2009 but what happened?
  • What happened to Halappa? In 2010 sleaze CD was circulated where a woman lying in negligee was crying claiming rape. Her husband was so busy filming it. A complaint was lodged with the Governor. He had to resign. The government then had handed the case to the CID.
  • Padmapriya wife of Udupi MLA Raghupathi Bhat disappeared and VS Acharya the then Home Minister was accused of withholding information until news of her subsequent suicide broke out.

Lots of leaders reflect dubious felicity when it came to their illicit affairs. Many lovers occupy Ministerial berths or are awarded positions of power as a token of gratitude for companionship! Some people wield the “power” portfolio too! Handsome perks of being the “Sleeping Booty”

In Politics the dust generated by sex scandals is much more than the sweat due to hard work!

Why did the Ministers have to resign? Why did the CM and the Party heads praise the Ministers for their move to resign? Howcome the Speaker has ordered a joint house probe into what’s so obvious? Why this dishonesty and hypocrisy?

The Police investigations against those in sex scandals have almost always been a farce!

Now I am sure ex Ministers, Krishna, Laxman and Patil, the infamous amorous trio will be politically exploited by rivals (who are obviously tainted in some ways and will go shitty shitty bang bang) hehe “XXX Files”

Politics had ceased to be the last resort of scoundrels instead today friends it happens to be the first preference of all individuals with money to buy power. Maybe even buy an identity badge. The Ministers are relocated and function as dignitaries’ elsewhere. They even attend the assembly regularly. What’s the point?

No wonder Anna said Right to Recall and not “Remix” or replace! People feel sick in their gut with the wasted mandate.

Sleaze in the future is bound to take uglier forms. Soon, teenagers with raging hormones would be reading playboy and masturbating in the back benches of classrooms.

An observation is that many young and single women hesitate from entering the domain of politics. Can imagine why! Imagine sitting in an assembly full of Krishnas and Laxmans! At this rate, with more and more politically erect men, we may have to soon pass the “Women’s Preservation Pill!”

Somehow this collection seems like a fairy tale of a different kind to me….”Phallus in Wonderland”

I kind of have a gut wrenching feeling whilst even getting this list of events together or must I say lust of events together.

I am intending to cast a flick starring the whole load of power scum and name it

“The Shaw-wank Redemption” 

Cartoons Credits – Navare Shreyas, CalmaSutra

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3 Responses to The Pourne Identity

  1. Lalit Ambardar says: February 14, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Well documented ‘wilderness’! It is widely acknowledged that Indian men generally lack control over their bladders granting them liberty of stand-up flushing acts that adorn the rural as well as urban landscape across the country any time of the day but propensity to unshackle their basic instincts at any given opportunity is coming forth now.

  2. Varghese Philip says: February 15, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    In the case of all the Justices Cockburn, I wonder if the fire in the belly sort of spread down to the loins, or was it lit by somebody else? Or, better still did the protagonist think he was a “pillar of fire” in the surrounding darkness (choottum kaththichchu (malayalam)) … showing the way for all beings confused in matters pourne.

    On a serious note, viewing porn in the Legislature where laws are being drafted and passed (or rejected) is out of place as long as the subject of the discussion itself was not passing laws on watching porn.

  3. rajeev nandagopal says: February 16, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Well,the history of Indians having propensity to indulge in such acts is well known.As to the politicians being involved in such acts,as nicely described,is nothing new.These gentlemen are well versed with screwing up the country!!so screwing up the odd female and watching porn material in the assembly did not actually shock me that much!!It is just a gradual degradation and is bound to go down even more!!